I just noticed the other day, that close to 300 people have watched my reel advertising bellydance classes in Invercargill and Gore. And yet, I’ve not had one single enquiry about it! Why? The only thing I can concluded is fear. And I understand fear. I face my own fear every single day.
I remember my first dance class. Hiding at the back. Covered in a baggy track suit, hoping no one would see me. Wishing for an invisibility cloak. And the same goes for my first trip to the gym. The same furtive sneaking in. Setting my weights and step at the very very back of the room, if I had been any further from the stage, I would have been out the door! Cringing when the instructor came in, terrified she would see me making a hash of all the exercises.
It took a very long time before I realised that at most of these activities, everyone is in the same boat. No one is looking at you in the gym, they are in a quiet world of suffering of their own! Dance class, we are all equally adrift, and that’s what the teacher is there for! To inspire instruct. To inspire confidence. But also like the gym instructor, to be kind and encouraging.
And here’s the good news! Belly dance is nowhere near as structured as ballet or ballroom. It’s pretty lenient and free flowing. And you can mix it in with what you already know! I’ve had students who are into tai chi, yoga and kapa haka, and they’ve been able to seamless weave their own knowledge and moves into their own unique dance.
I’ve been criticised countless times for not teaching “pure” bellydance. Or for incorporating ballet or flamenco into my dance. But, what really, is pure? Is something being pure that superior? Sure, make people aware that you teach fusion, but my argument is that a melting pot can be a beautiful thing, mixing, blending and sharing beautiful aspects of many different cultures and dance styles into something exciting and new and unique. It’s the same with my massage. I prefer to use a mix of styles, some hot stones, some traditional Hawaiian massage techniques, some tuning forks, some massage techniques I’ve picked up from doing facials. It’s beautiful to mix it up a bit! And hey, who has the right to steal your joy.
I’ve heard it all before:
“I can’t dance” of course you can! And how do you know you can’t do belly dance if you haven’t even tried!
“I’ve got no rhythm” of course you have rhythm, if you had no rhythm, you’d be dead! You can dance to the sound of your own heart beat!
What I am hearing to all these excuses, is “I’m afraid”. I’m afraid of failure, I’m afraid of making a fool of myself, I’m afraid of being told off or embarrassed, I’m afraid of not being good enough.
I remember doing my first romi romi at the Marae. I said to the instructor “I’m afraid I’m not going to be very good.” And he said “Hey girl, when did you last do a romi romi?”
I said “never”. And he said “Exactly girl! Relax, it’ll be ok” And it was.
That’s it. I’m not going to tell you off or embarrass you. I merely offer you the moves. You can interpret them however you like, however works for you, however your soul tells you to dance it, that’s what you do. There is no right or wrong. The beauty of belly dance is that there is no body expectation. If you’re not comfortable in a midriff showing costume, wear a full coverage tribal style outfit. You don’t have to been tall or thin. You don’t have to be able to stand on your toes. There’s so many options. And I will share them with you. All I want is for you to come along. Overcome your fear. I want to give you the gift of dance, the gift of body acceptance, the gift of self-confidence, the gift of music, the gift to dance without fear, whether it at a show or in the privacy of your own home.
Wasn’t it Strictly Ballroom “A life lived in fear is a life half lived”. While fear can keep you safe, fear can also paralyse you. It can keep you from your dreams. It can keep you small. But if you can harness your fear, and overcome it, that becomes courage. Grab your fear, harness your fear, pack it into a suitcase along with a funky hip scarf and come along to belly dance class!
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